


Harry Potter Drabble Collection

by BrilliantLady



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AO3 FB Challenge, Drabble Collection, Ficlet Collection, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-08 09:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13455267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrilliantLady/pseuds/BrilliantLady
Summary: This is an ongoing collection of tiny drabbles (of precisely 100 words) and assorted short ficlets (under 1000 words) featuring Harry Potter and all the cast. Each chapter title has been carefully chosen to help you navigate to ones you might enjoy more than others. Note that rating and tags may change as the collection develops.





	1. Wolfstar & Walburga - Drabble

It took three months after the rescue for Harry to settle into living at Grimmauld Place with his new dads. He loved it! But there remained one highly irritating fly in the ointment.

“Sirius, I need ten pounds to do something horrible to your mother’s portrait.”

“Here’s twenty. Have fun!”

“You don’t want to know my plan?” Harry asked tentatively.

Remus shrugged. “I’m sure you’ve got justification for just about _anything_ by now. I just want to know if we’ll get to watch.”

One quick shop later, Harry had what he needed.

“This, ma’am, is Nitromors. A Muggle paint stripper…”


	2. Harry Meets Walburga - Ficlet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an omake from the upcoming fifth fic in the “Perfectly Normal” series, which will cover Harry’s summer before fourth year. I often write scenes in advance if my muse inspires me, and catch up to them later and weave them in. However, it’s an imperfect technique for sometimes by the time I reach that scene they don’t fit the plot of the story any more - like this one. But I thought it was too fun to just discard, and so I’ve tweaked it a little and I hope you all enjoy reading it as a standalone ficlet.

“She’s not as… polite as I expected,” Harry said warily, eyeing the wild-eyed woman in the painting as spittle flew from her mouth as vile insults spilled out in a constant stream.

He turned to the portrait and said in a cold rarefied voice reminiscent of Snape, “And I would have you know, _madam_ , that the most you can accuse me of is being a half-blood, not ‘Muggle filth’. And I am a wizard who is a member of your family, so accusing me of being a thief and a beggar seems _most_ inappropriate.”

She seemed shocked into temporary silence, gaping like a fish.

“You shut her up! I think that deserves a hearty round of applause,” said Sirius, looking remarkably cheerful.

The portrait rallied quickly and screeched at Sirius, “I never heard of any wedding, and I should know! It would have appeared on the tapestry! How could you have a child out of wedlock?! You’re a disgrace to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black! A shameful stain!”

She rounded on Harry next, “What kind of Mudblood slattern did you have for a mother, boy? Some brainless tart like all the other pieces of trash your father dallied with no doubt! You’re nothing but a filthy low-born bastard, and I shan’t acknowledge you. You’re nothing to this family!”

“Are you going to tell her, or shall I?” said Harry, teeth clenched in anger.

A wicked gleam entered Sirius’ eyes. “Oh please, let me. It’s my job as your father. You see mother, the reason you never knew about my son before is because his mother is a Muggle.”

“Filth! Besmirching our fine family by consorting with a-”

“-Lovely young lady who worked cleaning toilets for a living,” interrupted Sirius loudly over the top of his mother’s slander, with a wild grin. “Very respectable profession, that is. Being a maid.”

“Sirius!” objected Harry, with a bit of laughter sneaking out.

“Go on, get yourself to the kitchen for a snack, son. Mother and I need a bit of a chat.” Sirius patted him on the head and shooed him away with a twinkle in his eye. “The language might get a bit too salty for your delicate ears.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Did you even marry your filthy servant girl?” shrieked the harpy in the painting. “I never heard a word of this!”

Harry wandered off towards the kitchen, suspecting that he wouldn’t want to hear more of Sirius egging his mother’s portrait on into a frothing fury. At least she wouldn’t be saying a word about his real parents.

Sirius’ taunting voice drifted down the hallway as Harry left. “How could I wed her, mother? She was already married to someone else. Perhaps I should move her in here now I’m free…”

Walburga’s angry screams were like music to Harry’s ears.


	3. Harry's 3rd Birthday - Drabble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the "AO3 FB Challenge".

Harry was only three years old when the Dursleys stopped throwing him birthday parties. It was a lavish affair designed more to impress the neighbours than entertain the children, with cake, decorations everywhere, a clown making balloon animals, and a reptile show.

When Harry started “talking” with the snakes, the Dursleys smiled tightly as they agreed with the neighbours that his hissing was adorably cute. When the balloon animals started flying around the room, however, Obliviators showed up.

Afterwards, Petunia hissed, “Get in the cupboard and stay out of sight until you stop doing freaky things!”

But he couldn’t stop.


	4. Wolfstar Valentine - Drabble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AO3 FB Challenge for Valentine's Day 2018, with special thanks to RK9 and ForgottenChesire for plotbunny feeding.

Grimmauld Place was littered with the detritus of card making, and little Harry was covered in glue, scraps of pink tissue paper, and glitter.

Harry had somehow superglued his hands to the homemade Valentine's Day card and couldn't hand it over to his dads. But there was a bigger problem.

"There is glitter _everywhere_ ," Sirius cried, horrified. "It's the STD of the craft world! We'll never get rid of it all. It contaminates everything it touches."

Remus kicked him on the ankle. "Say 'thank you'."

"Thank you," sighed Sirius, plastering on a smile. "Craft herpes, it's just what I wanted."


End file.
